And That’s When She Punched Me…

My Cousin: My friends think I’m exhausting. Do you agree?
Me: Well. That’s hard to answer.
My Cousin: What do you mean?
Me: I’ve known you my whole life. So, I know the struggles and hardships, both real and imagined, that you’ve had to contend with. I mean, really, your life is kind of one never-ending “Casey Kasem Long Distance Dedication” letter.

I Should Wring His Skinny, Pencil Neck…

So, DynaPapa leaves Monday night on a red-eye bound for New York. When I suggested that we (me and the boys) accompany him, he said, “I’m flying back Thursday afternoon so the trip isn’t really long enough to justify bringing y’all.”

Ok. I wasn’t thrilled with this response (I mean…heck…I could have used this trip as an excuse to stalk meet LazyDad or Designing Daddy), but I understood his point and he’s probably correct.

However, tonight, the clients called and said they’d be taking him to see a Broadway show. This show happens to be one of the hottest tickets on Broadway right now. So, now, all I can ponder is, “Will they let me Tumblr from Death Row?”

Why I Still Have a VCR…

Somebody asked me the other day, “Why do you still have a VCR?”

Well, that’s easy.

You can’t seriously expect me to give up the only way I have to play my copy of Kenny Rogers’ movie, Coward of the County, can you?

I mean. Really. They don’t make psychodrama TV movies, based on country songs, like this anymore.

Am I Reading this Correctly?

This letter, from a recent “Dear Prudence” columnleft me very confused.

Dear Prudie: My daughter is in second grade and is good friends with a girl whose mother writes a blog that has extensive readership. I read her blog and she is very careful to never mention any of her daughter’s friends by name or post their photo. However, she posts her daughter’s photo and writes blog posts about her frequently. In the past few weeks, my daughter and some of their other friends have started wanting their parents to write about them, too. I think these girls are at the age where female competition rears its ugly head and they are jealous that their friend is broadcasted on the Internet for lots of people to see when they are not. Is this something I should bring up with this girls mother? If I were her, I would want to know that my actions were causing some friction between young girls.

Am I reading this correctly? Is the letter writer actually suggesting this mommy blogger should stop (or limit) writing about her own kid on her own blog because the other little girls are jealous? Seriously?

Maybe I’m a meanie. I would essentially tell my kids to “suck it up” and I’d never mention this issue to the mommy blogger.

If you were the mommy blogger and the letter writer brought this issue up with you, what would you tell her?

Endless…

I volunteer with a group that provides monthly entertainment (singing, dancing, a little joke telling, etc.) for a local nursing home. This was my early morning, as it is nearly every month. “Endless” in so many ways, really.

Old Lady: You know Shania has a version of it, too?!?
Me: So, I’ve heard.
Old Lady: Sing it with me while we dance?
Me: We do this every time I visit. Do I have to?
Old Lady: I’m 81. I could be dead tomorrow.
Me: You know how to work that age thing. Don’t you?
Old Lady: Yes.
Me: Fine. But, you know. In the movie, he burned her house down, was committed to a mental hospital, and got her dad run over by a car. I really don’t see how that makes for a good love story. But, whatever.
Old Lady: So who do you want to be?
Me: Look. As always, if I’m going to do this. I’m being Lionel. Diana’s just not my style.
Me (singing): My Love. There’s only you in my life. The only thing that’s bright. (Except for that fire he started when he burned down their home. Ok. So, I didn’t sing this thought.)
Old Lady: My first love. You’re every breath that I take. You’re every step I make.

And you know, the silly thing…the first time I visit the nursing home and she’s not there to sing this with me or can’t, I’ll probably cry. But, I promise. I won’t burn down anybody’s house.
Edit: Of course, it just occurred to me that most people reading this are probably too young to remember this movie. Sh*t. I’m old.